Gone Hunting
by Every'Piece'Has'A'Purpose
Summary: What happens when Emmett and Jasper are left to babysit Bella when the Cullen's leave to hunt. One-shot. For my reveiw rewards for my story "Wife Swap". Congrats kenster07. Rated T just in case.


**AN: For those of you that got hints for my story, Wife Swap, you know that one of the rewards for guessing right was for me to publish one of your story ideas. Well, someone did guess right. Kenster07. This is her idea being published for one of my one-shots. Congratulations, kenster07.**

Summary:

**The Cullen's go on a hunting trip, except for Emmett and Jasper. They are left to watch Bella. What could happen? Anything. One-shot. (I'm not all great at parody writings, so, if this completely and utterly sucks a**, you'll know why.)**

**Third Person POV**

Bella Swan was sitting in her vampire boyfriend, Edward's, room, desperately upset that he had left her once again. His whole family and him had to go hunting (minus Emmett and Jasper, who were her baby-sitters for the day). Sure, she knew that he ha to go hunting once in a while, but it still cut her deep when he did. She was constantly afraid that he would find someone better than her. Someone who was a vampire. The was strong, fast, and had beauty that could easily out number her own. And, worst of all, be more graceful.

Ha! Yeah right! As if anyone could be more beautiful or more graceful than me, she thought just as she tripped over nothing and wound up breaking her perfectly manicured nails and magnificently brushed hair.

"Legasp! My hair and my nails! Oh noez! Jasper! I need some one of your nasty cow-boy hats from the civil war. My hair's a mess and there awful style should make people stop noticing it! Oh, and I'll need some of that nail-polish you hide in your room! You know, the bottles behind your closet!" she called down to one of her babysitters, only to receive no answer.

Maybe they're downstairs, making out on the couch. I always knew they were gay. I mean, they spend waaaaaaaaaaaaay to much time together. What else could it be?

After grabbing one of Jasper's awful hats, she headed downstairs to see if she could catch the two lovers in the act. She even brought down a tape recorder, just to rub it in Rosalie and Alice's faces.

She quietly crept down the stairs, which was extremely difficult. Not only was she in a house with two, super hearing vamps, but she was also a klutz. Bella tripped on almost ever stair she took. She walked into the living room,(also not quietly or gracefully) and was surprised at what she saw.

Emmett and Jasper were watching Dora the Explorer in TV.

"Double Legasp!" She exclaimed. The two whipped their heads around, nervous looks covering their faces, "I LOVE Dora! Why didn't you invite me? You don't love me, do you?" Bella said as she fell to the floor sobbing.

"You do?" Emmett asked.

"EMOTIONAL HEADACHE! EMOTIONAL HEADACHE!" Jasper yelled, running around the room with his hands on his head. But, everyone just ignored him. He wasn't important enough for anyone to care about his problems.

"Of course I love Dora! Only an idiot wouldn't! Dora is the bestest show on TV!" Bella answered. She ripped off her clothes and magically revealed a Dora costume underneath them.

"Now, come on! We must sing her theme song!" She shouted.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. But, I wanted to be Dora!" Emmett whined.

"NO! I have the Dora costume! I am Dora! NOW, sing Boots, Sing!!!" She yelled at Emmett, which made him cry like a little baby.

"Dora! Boots! Come on dora! Do-do-do-do-do-dora! Do-do-do-do-do-dora! Do-do-do-do-do-dora! Do-do-do-do-do-dora! Dora dora dora the explorer! Boots, that super cool explora, dora! Need your help! Grab your backpacks! Lets go! Jump in! Vaminos! You can lead the way! Hey! hey! Do-do-dora! Do-do-do-dora! Do-do-dora! Do-do-do-dora! Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! (oh man)Dora the explorer!" They all sang, knowing every part by heart.

"But, if Emmett is Boots, and you're Dora, Then who am I" Jasper complained

"You? Oh yeah, I forgot you were here. You can be…Swipper!" Bella screamed.

"Aw man!"

"See, you sound just like him!"

And, that's how their day went on. Bella was Dora, Emmett was Boots, and Jasper was complaining about being Swipper. The three of them watched Dora all after =noon and sang the theme song fifteen times in a row.

Then, right when they were in the middle of the sixteenth time, the door swung open. An angry Alice stood in the frame.

"Bella why do you have on that hideous hat?" She cried out.

"Oh noez! Mah hair!" Bella screamed and ran upstairs with Alice following close behind.

Fin

**AN: I mean NO offense in this chapter!! Did you like it? Hate it? Personally, I thought it sucked, but, like I said, I'm no good at parody writings. But, still, review! And, once agian, congrats Kenster07!**


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